Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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