so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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