Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
