Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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