This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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