this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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