I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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