The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
