people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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