Non-Jews are for practice
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
