Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
