At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
