Got a toothbrush?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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