I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize