Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we're making bets on your personal life
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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