Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
