so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
