Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
