just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
