Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
