I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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