your thong is hanging out like whoa
Your face is a jimmy john
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
