I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
