belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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