That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
