If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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