he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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