do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He has the fingertips of a God
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
