wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
