So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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