I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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