I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
