My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
