stop calling my apartment porn island.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
