i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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