just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You are a genius and a whore.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
