Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
