that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
