reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
