Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
