Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
