Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
