Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I love how my cats smell like pot.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
