and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
