So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I have tasted many bathrooms
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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