i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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