I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
