Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
