i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
