Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Randomize
