Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
